The Right Kind of Wrong
by JoyciePoo
Summary: Debra and Ray have a fight and Debra falls in love with the wrong guy. Please R&R!


"Show Me Love"  
By Patricia Heaton Forever (Debra Barone Barone)  
  
summary: Ray and Debra have been fighting a lot recently and Robert was always there for Ray to count on. But now Robert has decided to shoulder someone else- Debra.   
  
(scene is Ray and Debra fighting in their room)  
  
Debra: (picks up vase) And take your damn vase!  
  
Ray: That's not a damn vase! My mother gave it to me!  
  
Debra: Just as well. (she drops the vase)  
  
Ray: I can't believe you just did that!  
  
Debra: Believe it!  
  
(ally walks in)  
  
Ally: Mommy, can you……  
  
Ray and Debra: GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(ally runs out crying)  
  
Debra: Great! Now you've traumatized our daughter!   
  
Ray: Me! You yelled at her too!  
  
Debra: But you were louder!!  
  
(Robert and ally walk in)  
  
Robert: Ally says Mommy and Daddy are fighting.  
  
(Ray and Debra exchange a glance)  
  
Ray: Robert, please take my daughter and GO AWAY!!!!!  
  
Ally: (tugging Robert's sleeve) Uncle Robert, that's what Daddy said to me too.  
  
Robert: Look, Ray. Why don't you come and stay at my place for a while? Come and relax!  
  
Ray: I don't need your sympathy, Robert! Why don't you have Debra stay with you? (he is very obviously being sarcastic)  
  
Robert: Not a bad idea, younger brother. Debra, would you want to do that?  
  
Debra: Sure. It would be nice to have a break for once.  
  
(she looks into Robert's eyes. Robyn's "Show Me Love" starts playing. Ray sees the look the two share and collapses on his bed)  
  
(scene is Robert's apartment. He is cleaning up before Debra arrives. Then the doorbell rings and he goes to answer it. Debra is standing there)  
  
Debra: Hello, Robert.  
  
Robert: Oh… um…… hi… um Debra.  
  
Debra: Can I come in?  
  
Robert: Oh! Yes! Come in!  
  
(Debra walks in and looks around)  
  
Debra: I like this apartment.  
  
Robert: You've been here before, right?  
  
Debra: Just the time when you moved in and I came to get Ray.  
  
(there is an uncomfortable silence as the two remember why Debra came to get Ray)  
  
Robert: Well. I'll show you around. Here's the kitchen, and the bathroom, and the porch, and the um, bedroom.  
  
Debra: Ray says you have a Jacuzzi.  
  
Robert: Oh. Yes. It's on the porch. Uhh… ahh…. Wanna go in it tonight?  
  
Debra: Ummm…… sure, I guess.  
  
(the doorbell rings. Robert answers it and it's Amy, his girlfriend)  
  
Robert: AMY CAN'T YOU SEE DEBRA AND I ARE BUSY?!?!?!?!?!!? (he slams the door in her face)  
  
(Debra walks up to him slowly)  
  
Debra: What are we busy with?  
  
Robert: Um. Jacuzzi! Right?  
  
Debra: Yeah. Um.. I didn't bring my bathing suit. (sees the look Robert is giving her) No, I am not going in naked.   
  
Robert: Right. Hang on.   
  
(Robert goes into the other room and comes out with a very small bikini)  
  
Debra: What the hell?!? Robert, don't you dare tell me that's yours.  
  
Robert: No, no, no, it's JoAnn's. She left it here one night.  
  
Debra: JoAnn is considerably 2 sizes smaller than me.  
  
Robert: Go put it on.  
  
(scene is Debra in Robert's room. She is hooking the back of the bikini up)  
  
Debra: I can't wear this in front of Robert.  
  
Robert: (we can only hear him) Come on, Debra!  
  
Debra: Ooh, will Ray be mad at me…. (thinking) Coming, honey!  
  
(scene is Debra walking out on the porch. Robert is already in the Jacuzzi. When he sees Debra, his eyes widen and he starts coughing)  
  
Debra: (crosses her arms across her chest) Stop it.  
  
Robert: Yes. You were right. JoAnn is much smaller than you. And… did you call me honey a couple of minutes ago?  
  
Debra: I guess I did. Now, move over.   
  
(Debra climbs into the Jacuzzi. Robert is watching her every move until she's all the way in)  
  
Debra: This is pretty nice.  
  
Robert: It sure is. It's better with you than Amy.  
  
(Debra looks into Robert's eyes as he leans over and kisses her)  
  
Debra: Oh my god. I just passionately kissed my husband's brother.   
  
Robert: I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have invited you over.  
  
Debra: No- I'm glad you did.   
  
(this time, Debra kisses Robert)  
  
Robert: Deb- I- oh, Ray's gonna kill me!  
  
(Debra looks at him, one eyebrow raised)  
  
Robert: Oh, what the hell. (he leans over and kisses her for awhile)  
  
COMMERCIAL BREAK  
  
(scene is Robert's apartment. Debra is asleep on the couch. Robert is trying to sneak out without waking Debra. As he walks by the couch, she wakes up)  
  
Debra: (sitting up) Robert, about last night-  
  
Robert: I am so sorry. Who ever heard of someone having sex with her brother in law?  
  
Debra: I don't know. But if Ray ever finds out- well, he'll kill us both. You for starting it and me for going along with it.  
  
Robert: Well- divorce Ray.  
  
Debra: Are you kidding me?  
  
Robert: Why would I kid?  
  
Debra: Well-  
  
Robert: Just do it. You'll feel a whole lot better about last night.  
  
Debra: Maybe… I don't think I'm ready.   
  
Robert: (wistfully) Last night sure was nice…  
  
Debra: I'm going, I'm going.  
  
(scene is Ray and Debra's house. Ray is sitting on the couch with Marie and Frank)  
  
Debra: Hello, everyone.  
  
Marie: Oh, hello dear.   
  
Frank: You stayed at Robert's last night?  
  
Debra: Yes, and I need to talk to Ray.  
  
Frank: Holy crap. Marie, Debra's having sex with both of our sons.  
  
Marie: Frank! She probably wants to make up with him. Come on Frank, we'll go.   
  
(Marie and Frank leave)  
  
Debra: Ray- honey. I need to talk to you.  
  
Ray: Oh my God, you DID have sex with Robert!  
  
Debra: I want a divorce.  
  
Ray: What? Why?!?  
  
Debra: Well, um, you see…. You guys were right. Robert and I went in the Jacuzzi- one kiss led to another, and that led to- well, you know.  
  
Ray: I can't believe this!!!!!!  
  
(Marie walks in)  
  
Marie: Ray, honey?  
  
Ray: Yeah, Ma?  
  
Marie: Can I talk to you?  
  
Ray: Sure.  
  
(they go into the kitchen)  
  
Marie: Raymond, honey, what happened?  
  
Ray: They did…. You know.   
  
Marie: That slut!  
  
Ray: Yeah, and now she wants a divorce!   
  
Marie: Don't worry, dear. If she keeps the house, you can always move in with me.  
  
Ray: Thanks, but I'll get the house.  
  
Marie: How do you know?  
  
Ray: 'Cause she's gonna marry Robert!  
  
Marie: She told you that?  
  
Ray: No… but I know it, I just know it!  
  
COMMERCIAL BREAK  
  
(scene is at Robert's apartment. The doorbell rings. Robert answers the door and it's Ray)  
  
Robert: Hi, Ray.  
  
Ray: What the hell do you think you were doing last night!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  
  
Robert: Errrrrrr….. bye Ray.  
  
Ray: No, not BYE! Now Debra wants a divorce!!  
  
Robert: Um…. I know?  
  
Ray: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Robert: Um… I kinda told her to?  
  
Ray: I can't believe you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Robert: Look, Ray, I'm sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was jealous of you the second you brought her home to meet Ma. I've always thought she was beautiful and sexy and when she came out in that bathing suit, I… kinda lost it.  
  
Ray: Kinda?!?!?!?! More like COMPLETELY!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Robert: Out. Now.  
  
(Robert shuts the door in Ray's face. 2 seconds later, the doorbell rings)  
  
Robert: (opens the door) Look, Ray, I… Debra!!!!  
  
Debra: Can I come in?  
  
Robert: Of course. Sit down.   
  
(they talk with no audio while N'Sync's "Gone" plays)  
  
Robert: I understand, Debra. Now, I have one question for you. (he gets down on one knee and Debra gasps) Will you marry me?  
  
Debra: I… I…. Yes!!!  
  
(scene is Frank and Marie's house. There is a knock on the door. Marie goes to open it and Robert and Debra are standing there)  
  
Marie: Oh, hello Robert honey. (she looks at Debra cynically) Debra.  
  
Debra: Hi Marie.  
  
Robert: Ma, Debra and I have some news.  
  
Frank: See, Marie? What'd I tell you? They had sex!  
  
Robert: So what, Dad?!?!? Debra and I are getting married!  
  
(Marie faints dead away on the floor)  
  
(scene is Ray's house. Robert, Debra, and Ray are sitting around the table)  
  
Ray: You guys are WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?  
  
Robert and Debra: Getting married.  
  
Ally: Who's getting married, Mommy?  
  
(Debra and Robert exchanged horrified glances, they forgot about what the kids would say about the divorce and marriage)  
  
COMMERCIAL BREAK  
  
Debra: Ally, please could you get Geoffrey and Michael?   
  
Ally: Sure. GEOFFREY! MICHAEL!!!!!  
  
The twins: What, Ally?  
  
Ally: Mommy wants us.  
  
The twins: What, Mommy?  
  
Debra: Your daddy and I are… are… are getting a divorce  
  
Michael: What's a deeyorse, Mommy?  
  
Debra: It's divorce. It means Daddy won't be married to me anymore.   
  
Ally: Why?  
  
Debra: Because… we don't love each other anymore.  
  
Geoffrey: Who's gonna be our new daddy?  
  
Debra: Well, Daddy will always be your real daddy, but I'm getting married to Uncle Robert.  
  
Ally: You mean UNCLE ROBERT is going to be our daddy??????  
  
Robert: Yes, that's only if you agree, Ally.   
  
Ally: Well, you're not Daddy.  
  
Robert: I know that, Ally, but don't you love me as much as you love Daddy?  
  
Ally: Well, yeah, I guess.  
  
(Robert hugs Ally and the twins)  
  
(scene is at a church. It's Robert and Debra's wedding. The kids are all going to be in the wedding, so they are running around wearing fancy clothes. Marie is sitting in the front pew, crying. But not from happiness)  
  
Marie: Frank, that slut is still going to be part of our family.   
  
Frank: I know, Marie, I know. (he kisses her)  
  
Marie: (amazed) Frank, you haven't kissed me in I don't know how long.  
  
Frank: Well, it's a wedding, for god's sake. People kiss!  
  
(suddenly the organ starts. Ally walks down the aisle as the flower girl, throwing flowers. As she passes Frank and Marie, she whispers "Hi Gramma and Grandpa". Geoffrey and Michael are both the ring bearers and they walk down the aisle holding pillows. As they pass Frank and Marie, they shout, "HI GRAMMA AND GRANDPA!!!!!!!!" Then Debra comes down the aisle. She looks beautiful and her father, Warren, is with her)   
  
Marie: Frank, doesn't this remind you of Raymond's wedding?  
  
Frank: Shut up, Marie!  
  
Minister: We are here today to join Robert Barone and Debra Barone in holy matrimony. Do you, Debra, take Robert to be your lawful wedded husband, to love, honor, and cherish him?  
  
Debra: I do.  
  
Minister: And do you, Robert, take Debra to be your lawful wedded wife, to love, honor, and cherish her?  
  
Robert: I do.  
  
Minister: Any objections, please rise.  
  
Marie: I object!  
  
Frank: (pulling her down) Marie, sit down!  
  
Minister: By the power invested in me and the state of New Jersey, I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may now kiss the bride.  
  
(Marie shrieks and faints dead away while Robert and Debra kiss)  
  
(scene is at the reception. Ray and Amy are dancing, Marie and Frank are dancing, and so are Debra and Robert)  
  
Ray: Hey, guys- congratulations.  
  
Debra: Thanks, Ray.  
  
Ray: Can I dance with you?  
  
Debra: Robert?  
  
Robert: Go ahead. I wanna have a dance with Amy.  
  
(Debra and Ray are now dancing and so are Robert and Amy)  
  
Ray: I still love you, you know.  
  
Debra: Me too.  
  
(he kisses her on the cheek)  
  
Debra: I'm gonna go dance with Robert now, OK?  
  
(Debra and Robert are dancing again as S Club 7's "Two in a Million plays) 


End file.
